The Man Called Deadpan


4/14/2005 ::

14:57 - What? You people are STILL reading this blog? I have a WordPress blog at Don't get me wrong, I love Blogger, but right now I need something with a little more ooph.

7/30/2004 ::

12:40 - Been out for awhile. Just checking in to let ppl know I'm alive, and might be killing the blog soon.

6/28/2004 ::

07:27 - Wi-Fi hopper guilty of cyber-extortion <-- this is what I'm talking about when I say 'people are stupid'. I admit making my fair share of mistakes, but in extortion schemes you should NEVER ask for a check, especially one made payable to YOU!

6/27/2004 ::

09:52 - Last thread you'll ever read Pucker Up, BITCHES! I'm headed for the shelter now. too bad I received word just now, I might not have time.

6/17/2004 ::

23:34 - email link obfuscator

07:22 - Cryptainer - Secure your data and ensure absolute privacy with Cypherix's powerful encryption software Cryptainer LE. It 's powerful 128 bit encryption, creates multiple 20 Mb encrypted containers (vaults) on your hard disk. These encrypted vaults can be loaded and unloaded on need. You can view, modify and hide all types of file with a single password.

Phenomenally easy to use, Cryptainer LE's encryption works with all 32 bit versions of Microsoft Windows (95/98/ME/2000/XP/2003 Server) and with all known file types. Cryptainer allows you to password protect and secure any file or folder on any media including removable drives (Flash Drives, CD ROM's etc)

You can protect your files and folders and ensure total privacy with Cryptainer LE. Simply drag and drop the files and folders you want to hide and voilà! your files are hidden. With Cryptainer LE you can hide the very existence of your confidential files and folders.

Additionally, Cryptainer LE allows you to send encrypted email files. The recipient need not even have a copy of Cryptainer LE installed to decrypt the files.

Actually. I've remarked on this wonderful product before. I just needed to refresh the blog for the tweaks I made in the bookmark menu.

6/16/2004 ::

15:28 - Microsoft on Track to Offer Anti-Virus Software
............... this is wrong on the kind of level that you have to decide if you want to write a novel's worth of rants, or say nothing at all. I'm not really in the mood to type a 'foaming at the mouth' rant right now. I'll let other bloggers do that.

It's..... just......wrong.

6/14/2004 ::

21:35 -

Trojan writer ownz up.

Quote from Article:: At least one security expert says there's a lesson to be learned from the whole affair. "It obviously says you should always use open-source Trojans," says Mark Loveless, a senior security analyst with Bindview Corporation. "That's the moral. You can't even trust Windows malware."

I'm not gonna say what he did is wrong. Putting a master password into the system. I would have had it generate a random password, have it 'call home' to papa, etc, etc. But I'm not a coder, or a hacker. So.... whatever.

6/11/2004 ::

04:36 - :ROFLMAO: :WTF?: Muggers refuse to nick crap mobile phone Muggers in South Africa handed back an Alcatel mobile phone while robbing two terrified women - because they refused to thieve "cheap stuff". That's pretty damn funny. Thought I'd share it.

6/10/2004 ::

12:39 - Interior of the Granby DeathDozer 5000! Exterior Pictures from the incident. In case you're not up to speed, last friday some nutjob played out his revenge fantasy on the inhabitants of Granby, Colorado. I, for one, can understand that a person that got ripped by any entire town could plan something like this, but actually executing it is another motorcycle (eh, bulldozer?) entirely. On the other hand, he did a fairly good job, the design of the vehicle could be refined and then sold to third-world nations in urban combat situations.

6/08/2004 ::

10:47 - Article from 14 August 2003 "Defenses Down, Galactic Dust Storm Hits Solar System"

10:42 - Oh, and if you like nasa wireframe animations, check out how close this bastard will pass around the 26th!

09:08 - Okay. Here's rough explanation for The Snowball Ending...

The earth is about to get slammed by an intergalactic dust cloud. There are three large objects headed this way that will cause an 'extinction-level event'. The governments have known about this for years (having access to better scopes, the assault coming from 'below' the ecliptic plane prevents northern scopes from seeing it), and have put navies out to see, deployed troops, and began holing up the elite.

My take on this? I'm gonna milk it until it passes.

Rough Estimated Time To Final Impact


Rough Dates Of Events as posted by Aussie Bloke, the primary pundit

  • June 8-9 Dust Cloud begins to reach the Earth and darkening of the skies.
  • June 18-20 1st impact
  • June 24-25 2nd impact
  • June 27-28 3rd impact of the "anomaly"

Relevant Websites:


6/07/2004 ::

12:04 - Shitheads get busted hacking into Lowes Hardware. I'm calling them shitheads because they were caught in a fairly stupid manner. Things we learn. 1.) Conceal wi-fi equipment. Avert attention by sending someone into store to actually purchase something, like plastic sheeting and duct tape. 2.) Corporations are stupid and don't take eSecurity seriously. 3.) The Register needs to proofread their shit better. -Deadpan. Perturbed, goes to Home Depot anyway.

12:00 - Yes. I haven't updated in awhile. Deal. Assignment in Germany went okay, got a few inquiries from the tinfoils about things going on there. To answer, not much. There's been alot of talk about an End of the Earth prophesy I'm calling "The Snowball Ending" (unlike The Virus Ending or The Mega-Happy Here Comes Jesus Ending). Essentially, a huge ass dust cloud and several large objects are going to turn Earth into a hyperspace bypass. I'm not sure about it, but if it's true, I'm not going to bother counting taxes on any under-the-table work I do.

5/17/2004 ::

10:48 - Going on an assignment. Fuckin' deal with it. Back in a week. Tinfoils can leave messages in the usual places.

5/15/2004 ::

07:10 - WTF? BLogger's new interface is gay candy-coated nonsense. I don't use XP's candy-coated nonsense, I like my old inteface, it was clean, I knew where everything was, it looked like sophisticated, streamlined system ready to kick the crap of anything at moments notice. I'm gonna see if there's a way to fix this.

5/08/2004 ::

08:06 - Yes!

07:57 - Tweaked some posts and changed the bookmarks. Scroll to the bottom.

07:49 - So. TechTV is fucked, then? That kinda sucks. I mean, where will I get my witty tech banter from?

07:19 - Rumsfeld and co have been burning up C-Span in a round of 'testimonies' that would get most people jailed for contempt. I'll let the pundits and armchair analysts debate this one. I'm booking a flight the hell outta dodge before the next election. Assuming we have one.

07:17 - Darpa Grand Challege, Lessons Learned

5/03/2004 ::

09:40 - MAPLE BACON Spanky's experimental troll-proof message board. Needs more people. The FCers usually come over when their own damn board breaks, which is fairly regularly.

09:03 - WTF? [Screenshot] Some idiot try to spoof his way into an invite. I don't know CmdrTaco, although I do respect the /. folks. I'm not tossing out invites because of a person's name.

07:25 - First-Gen Direct-To-Iris Heads-Up Display BBC News Article, Thanks FC. I want one. Actually, I want one from Oakley or Fossil. I'll let others rant about the possibilities.

5/02/2004 ::

13:13 - Cryptainer [link] What if you could keep your files secure, but not have to worry about MAKING SURE they're encrypted, or stashed away properly. What if you could load single file that Windows treats like a hard drive, do all your private work on it, and when you're done just unload it, and it reverts back to being an innocent little file? That's what Cryptainer is. The LE edition, free for personal use, lets you create 'volumes' up to 20mb. Which is fine for personal work. You can buy the editions that will let you make bigger volumes. I intend to purchase PE for my growing collection of confiscated thumbdrives. Flaws: The password is stored in plaintext in the system's RAM when the program is open. Shutting the app off solves this.

12:40 - Get Your Badger on, LOTR Style!

12:38 - I have started a serious initiative to actualy post regularly to this blog. I have been cleared on what I can and can't post about my place of work. I'm gonna bitch about security, the web, and wanks on FC. Not to mention MapleBacon, which still comes in 2nd in my book.

4/27/2004 ::

07:14 - A recent NDA has prohibited my from making posts, til now. Good News: I just got my Gmail account. *evil grin* I'm adding some new bookmarks.

3/23/2004 ::

13:25 - So, our boss is off in Guam, doing god knows what. She's been liasing with one of the guys at an office we have a couple of blocks away. I don't have all the details, I'm just the fixer. So, this morning there's a long FEDEX package on my desk. Inside is a giftwrapped Louisville-slugger, a big wood thing. The note attached has this guy's name, desk number, and the words "Tell him I said Hi." I hope his eye heals fast, you need good peripheral vision in this town.

3/15/2004 ::

10:47 - Nothing much happening today. the DARPA Grand Challenge was a bit of a dissappointment. Maybe we will see better vehicles in '06. I mean, navigational Ai takes time to devolop, doesn't it?

3/14/2004 ::

14:12 - So, I had a tinfoil bug me today about my phone. I have a Nextel for company work and a V5 for loose calls. So, he asked me to comment on them... Okay, V-Mobile has the best rate plan for pre-paid. Yes, they have GPS locator gear but that can be disengaged. They look cool, and you can lie like a dog on the registration forms. Problems? They overcharge a little on disconnects, but it's on the Sprint network, so that figures. The setup's a little boggy, and the MTV branded BS on the slider is total shit. I hate MTV, and regret getting this phone. However, since Verizon is getting this model (the Kyo SE47), you can probably get it flashed. I have a couple of guys in the R&D labs working on modding the software for me. I might be able to offer a download in the coming months.

3/13/2004 ::

07:16 - Uh.... yeah.

3/12/2004 ::

08:38 - Okay, so, there's alot of crap going on about free speech, the threat of a draft, etc. I've been going over aquisitions proposals with XM and Sirius as Tier-Three members. If Stern moves to 'celestial' broadcasting systems, there will be a fucking flood for sat receivers. I already hate clearchannel, who was recently dumped from Consortium's protection as they were repeatedly downgraded to from tier-two to tier-five (the tier system is how imporatant they are, tier-zero is highest.). They will be bankrupted in the coming year.

2/29/2004 ::

21:32 - Got shot. Sniper. Spent a few days in the hospital. Found out they thought I was dead. Watch Hard To Kill and figure the rest out for yourself. Nuff said. I'm getting a PO box for tinfoils to wank with.

2/23/2004 ::

10:55 - Register SecFocus Article

2/19/2004 ::

10:18 - Kuro5hin article I intent to print later.

10:10 - So, Microsoft is not a client of Consortium. This is for reasons that make alot of sense, but the EYES ONLY tag on the memos prevent me from stating why. (they'd try and take control, or enforce the use of Windows.) The leaked code is not our problem, the one or two holes and various comments are interesting to the programmers here. But since we're migrating the entire company to linux by 2005, there's no point in scanning crap code, except for laughs.

09:54 - I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we stopped someone in our office from unleashing what looks to be a destructive variant of the Blast worm. The bad news? This wicked smart coder, which could have been paid alot of money for the code, now has a bullet or eight in his cranium. He tried launching it from our systems, we have stuff to compensate for known (and a few theoretical) holes in our Windows systems. The admins and alot of people on the general staff were instantly alerted, the flow of outbound data was halted automatically, and we have everyone handing over their clips to find out who gets the promotion. Oh, and there's a big bloody mess to clean up, to.

2/06/2004 ::

15:17 - - DO NEVER TEST!

10:00 - A spammer tells me to go to hell? Wtf? From: "Rob" To: *** Subject: Re: Go to hell! Date: Mon, 26 Jan 2004 06:23:08 +0300 Finally Really in.exspen.sive dr.ugs for you. Considerable saing.s to you. This is the site to visit. gmvhdq link: So, not only are they telling me to go to hell, but they want me to believe this is a yahoo store?

2/02/2004 ::

12:39 - ATTN: Ladies And Gents. I have now attained the status of Fat Pud, having made 2500 posts on the Fucked Company message boards since last July. Alot of people have been wondering what the fuck took so long. I can only imagine what will be stuck under my wiper this afternoon. Thread Link

12:08 - I just found out about fifty people has started tapping this page for information. As evidenced by envelopes and crap getting left under my wipers. So... Janet Jackson's tit flash comments can be found on FC. Same for everything else.

1/31/2004 ::

14:43 - Alot of gripes about word filters, moderation on FC. Here's my standard reply. Bitch, bitch, bitch, moan, bitch, moan.

14:36 - Response from the Brill: a fake parking ticket on my car with instructions to drop the suitcase off somewhere. Uh, dude, I'm not going that far out of town for a breifcase.

1/30/2004 ::

20:00 - OHHHHhhhhhhh....kayyyyyyy...... So, there's this real paranoid client. We call people like him a "Brill". (Enemy Of The State reference). This guy actually uses dead-drops in remote locations. (Under a seat at a bus terminal, behind a planter, in a book at a library, etc) I'm writing this to let him know, cause I know he's checking the blog, YOU FORGOT YOUR F'CKING BREIFCASE at the last meet! I've got it secured, unopened, untampered, you need to contact me to get it back. I ran it through the MilScan to make sure there was no explosives or electronics, and it came out clean. But it's in an EM vault right now, and if you want it back, you need to stop dicking around with the cloak and dagger shit, we have anonymous entry into the office, and for once I'd like to expense a lunch. You have my loose number, so call me. -Deadpan. Fucking Pissed.

12:59 - Let's see how the new links menu and google works out.

12:45 - So, a bud of mine has a new invite-only message board from cryptotards and paranoid people. He asks me to invite 'people i know'. Problem, getting paranoid people to tap shit like that is a risky proposition. I hope he's not betting money on it.

12:18 - Went and bought a 120gb Western Digital with my Refund Anticipation Loan. Also got a Drive Rack for it so I can tote it around like a mad fool. Problem...the machine I access the net with doesn't have any more free drivebays. (doh!)

1/18/2004 ::

18:38 - I can't believe it, my first flaming hot FC topic. A lyrical tribute to Rollergurl.....

1/17/2004 ::

17:21 - Semi-Automatic Russian Roulette Enthusiasts Club - a new community for the paranoid and bored. Looking for the security knowledgeable and activists. Maybe even a few FC'ers. No site, just a message board. Maybe I can make it into something.

17:18 - Finally got Knoppix in the mail. I've been playing with Damn Small Linux for a couple of days and am generally satified with it, but what I really want are encryption tools and anonyware. Knoppix is more featured, but has a pretty heavy learning curve. I was really expecting a manual file on startup, and was a little dissapointed. Mounting drives in Knoppix was a bit of a pain, but DSL was able to do it quickly and effectively. If I can find some apps online maybe I cna put together my own distro.

1/06/2004 ::

17:09 - Been gone awhile. Had a considerately shitty christmas, bad birthday, etc. Anyhoo, I'm back and I'm on the beat again. Kicking ass and taking names. I got another client, they're real paranoid, but they want to get online. I'm not all Brill when it comes to eSecurity. Oh well, guess I have to learn.

12/23/2003 ::

10:47 - For future reference on 419 scams Old Guy, Scammed

12/17/2003 ::

11:47 - I was waiting in a reception office the other day, I was escorting my boss. (a chick, a little prim, but okay to work with) So, I'm wearing a pretty decent dress casual number, reading a magazine, and some blonde chick walks up to me and calmy tells me there isn't a chance in hell I'd get hired to work there. As if she's doing me a favor by telling me this. I ask why, she says I'm too ugly, I ask the receptionist if this woman works here, she says no, she's just applying. I tell the woman to blow off. She screams something unintelligable that rhymed with 'asshole' and runs off. It was pretty amusing.

12/08/2003 ::

10:41 - Some nice, smallprint crypto tools here.

12/04/2003 ::

16:19 - Nothing newsworthy. A Co-Worker of mine got excited as hell when he loaded Conker's Bad Fuy Day into an emulator, enabled invincibility, and proceeded to run around after getting sliced in half be an enemy's sword. Just some little teddi legs and a stump running around, he couldn't draw a weapon, but he could still grab the 'gas canister' and place it. It was pretty damned amusing.

12/03/2003 ::

11:31 - Hmmm. Bush 'to announce' return to moon. See last two posts. Not bothering to link articles or make speculation, other than last two posts.

11:27 - Also: I want my Lunar Velveeta damnit! We were promised Lunar Velveeta!

11:26 - Take this down: When the moon is outlawed, only outlaws will have the moon! Good.

12/02/2003 ::

12:44 - Maybe this is better.

12:35 - I wonder if dean is trying to get himself diselected. What's his secret plan? Piss everyone off? Now he's going after the media giants. Not that I wouldn't mind them getting cut down to size, but that's like poking a gorilla with a stick and then expecting it not to rip your head off.

12:10 - Idiot has a 9.0 kernal! update: Lesson learned here? get your facts straight before coming to FC.

11:53 - Navy NCIS is actually a pretty decent show, AFAIC. I like the almost textbook mix of characters and navy-related plotlines, and how the leader is ALWAYS right about everything, almost instinctively, as if he read the entire script already! Update: I was kinda being sarcastic here. Aint seen the show in awhile.

11:25 - I uploaded a new crypto client. I know the rainmen'll get a kick out this one. Not too strong, tho. Decent for safeguarding against shoulder surfers.

11/29/2003 ::

12:26 - Someone asks if 'webmaster' is still a valid title on the modern business world. My company has one, but he's mostly a slave to the boss. He does alot of running to and fro, dodging traffic in the downtown sprawl. He can make a starbucks run in an unheard of sixteen minutes at peak time.

12:17 - Tweaked the template a little. Some arguing on FC about rascism, buckets, and commandos.

11:58 - There's a lemur in my pants!!!!!!!


This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?